A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom,
Her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry, sister, but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first, me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next, me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree, resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
THIS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
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EXTRA |
 Executionby Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan Bossidy, the legendary CEO of Honeywell International, Inc., joins forces with consultant and prolific author Charan to explain how getting things done — not strategy, innovation or anything else — is the most important function of a leader. The authors examine in detail the three key processes of execution — people, strategy and operations — and show how all three are linked. Click to get this summary free! |  Winningby Jack Welch with Suzy Welch Winning goes beyond Welch’s memoir Jack, Straight From the Gut. In his latest book, Welch addresses his own management techniques honed during his tenure as CEO of General Electric. He includes an overview of cultural values, delves into hiring to explore what winners are made of, shares advice on crisis management, and looks at the external factors that can influence a company's success. Welch also takes a more personal turn, with an eye to individual career issues. Click to get this summary free! | |
 Good to Greatby Jim Collins What do good companies need to do to become great? To answer this question, Jim Collins (the author of the bestseller Built to Last) and a team of researchers used strict benchmarks to identify a group of 11 elite companies that made the leap from good to great and sustained that greatness for at least 15 years. The companies that made the list, and those that did not, provide a vast supply of strategies and ideas that leaders can use within their own organizations to propel them to greatness. Click to get this summary free! | 
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 Silos,Politics, and Turf Wars by Patrick Lencioni In Silos, Politics, and Turf Wars, bestselling author and acclaimed management expert Patrick Lencioni presents a dynamic leadership fable that reveals how organizations can overcome the “silos” that divide work units and paralyze performance. Lencioni also offers solutions to a key leadership issue — the impact of turf wars and political infighting on organizational effectiveness. Written in the form of a realistic but fictional story, Silos, Politics, and Turf Wars tackles a tough business issue in both an entertaining and instructive way. Click to get this summary free! |
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